Parent Guidance: A Parenting Consultation for Parents of Kids of Any Age
Sometimes the person who needs support isn't the kid. It's you.
I once spent a whole day with my daughter at a bouncy house and out for ice cream. When we got home and I mentioned bath time, she told me I was the worst person in the world. My first thought was not a clinical one. I'm a child psychologist, and I still said the wrong thing, a little too loud.
Parenting is hard, even for a child psychologist. I've been through it myself. Sometimes you don't need your child in therapy. You need someone honest to think it through with.
For parents of kids of any age, from toddlers to twenty-somethings. The parent is the client here. Your child doesn't need to come, or agree to therapy, for you to get support.
What is Parent Guidance?
Parent Guidance is a parenting consultation with a licensed child psychologist, where the parent is the client. You bring what's happening at home, what you've tried, and what's worrying you. Together we figure out what's going on underneath your child's behavior and what to do next.
You may have heard it called parent consultation, parent counseling, parent coaching, or working with a parenting therapist. It is not therapy for your child. It's support for you.
What parents come to me about
Parents rarely call with a diagnosis. They call with a moment: the meltdown at bedtime, the kid who won't get in the car for school, the teenager who stopped talking. These are some of the most common.
Little kids
Tantrums and meltdowns, including the 4-year-old kind. A child who won't eat. Siblings who can't stop fighting.
School age
A child who refuses to go to school. Big feelings they can't manage yet, and need help learning to regulate.
Teens
The teenager who won't talk to you, or seems to hate you right now. How to talk to your teenager without it turning into a fight.
Young adults
Parenting young adults: the twenty-something who moved home and can't get going, or won't get help.
Parent Guidance may be right for you if you're
- Wondering whether your young child needs therapy, or whether you should talk to someone first
- Worried about your college student or young adult, who won't get help
- Constantly wondering whether you're helping or making things worse
- Unsure how much to push, step back, set limits, or offer support
- Worn out by conflict, shutdowns, or "I'm fine" conversations
- Looking for a grounded second opinion before things get harder
- Tired of second-guessing every decision
Does my child need therapy, or do I need support?
A lot of parents call wanting their child in therapy. Sometimes that's the right call. Just as often, what helps most is the parent getting clearer on what's driving the behavior and how to respond. A 4-year-old having meltdowns usually doesn't need a therapist. Their parent might want a steady second opinion.
A consultation is a low-risk first step. If your child does need their own therapist, an evaluation, or another resource, I'll tell you, and help point you there.
Behavior is the smoke. The feeling is the fire.
When a kid melts down, shuts down, or won't get off the screen, they're usually handling a feeling they can't yet manage, most often a sense of loss. Parent Guidance helps you respond to the feeling underneath, using an approach I've spent more than 20 years refining (and practicing on my own kids):
Expect the eruption, and stay calm through it.
Blowing up gives the feeling power. Staying steady says: this is manageable, and so are you.
Name the feeling and build a narrative.
Even a good guess ("you're really upset the fun day is ending") helps a kid learn to put words to what's happening inside.
Don't rush to fix it.
Pushing for information or solving it in the moment often tips the scales. Space lets them come to you.
Let them fail, and add "yet."
"He hasn't figured this out yet" keeps faith alive while they learn to do it themselves.
Repair the damage.
None of us do this perfectly. What matters is going back once everyone's calm and talking it through.
What we can talk through
- How to communicate without escalating conflict
- When to step in and when to step back
- How to set boundaries that are clear and realistic
- How to respond to avoidance, low motivation, or shutdowns
- How to support a student from a distance
- How to handle substance use concerns
- How to support your child without losing yourself in the process
- Whether individual therapy, an evaluation, or another resource might help
How Parent Guidance works
- Virtual, wherever you are in a PSYPACT state
- 60-minute sessions, usually a single session, with the option to come back whenever something new comes up. We'll go over fees on your free 15-minute call
- Some parents want one focused conversation. Others want ongoing support. Most parents feel noticeably clearer within a session or two.